World Cancer Day today for the World, its World Cancer Day for me and many others 365 days a Year........A little blog on my current state and thoughts on today. Also a shoutout to Angela who was at my local X Ray place yesterday, 29 and she's basically the bionic woman......kids don't do sports lol. Angela introduced herself to me and told me she started reading the blog recently, well my sore chest fluttered, thanks for reaching out pretty lady and I wish you all the luck in the future!, stay Fabulous Rockstar ❤🤘🏼
WORLD CANCER DAY 2017
World Cancer Day, Lisa's every day, millions of other people's day, a day that some people may sit and reflect on the travesty that is this horrendous disease, others may think about how lucky they or their family are for escaping or beating the disease and then there are those that have no idea that it's even World Cancer Day.
I'm so disappointed, I was asked by the two fabulous queens, Queen originalé herself Constance Hall and her best Queen since kindergarten Annaliese Dent to go on their show the Queen Sesh', (only their second show btw, thanks for the confidence in me beauties) to have a chat about the bastard that is cancer and I was very excited to do it, especially to get the rare cancer word out and well if I'm really honest, it was a good excuse to have a good bitch sesh with two of my faves, but biaaatch this show got reach, it's everywhere https://www.hit.com.au/! Believe me I've listened and didn't fall asleep or tune out, which only happens for Married at first sight and Real Housewives, I laughed and cried laughed and laughed cried and then I cry laughed some more.
Anyway this beast being the roller coaster disease it is, I've been choking on vomit in the middle of the night, which is burning my oesophagus, causing pain, husky voice and making my voice break and breathless. Needless to say I'm not up for doing my little segment, which pisses me off as I don't like to back out of anything, I'm sure I could do it, but if it's not great, I don't want to do it! The only thing I can take solace in, is that there is now no risk of me stealing their show from them, which I'd hate to do, as they were my two biggest backers in the beginning of my blog and they didn't even know me, they just read the blog and had faith. Love you girls more than the chicest pair of shoes ever featured in a Sex and the City Episode, but remember if you're going to buy me some, go half a size up, I honestly think red bottoms would cheer me up, no pressure........well some 😜👠👢👡👑.
So World Cancer Day, is my EVERY day, it's not a day for a ribbon, it's not a day for remembering, sadly it's my existence. Not being able to go on the radio show, is one of those little annoying things that Cancer gives and these little gifts individually may be annoying, but they build up, the unpredictability of this whole disease for me is something I don't think I'll ever get used to, so for those of you out there dealing with this disease, be prepared for losing control. You lose control of your body, your strength, your appearance, your emotions, your mental ability, you can lose your vision and other vital organs or senses, your hair, weight, muscle density, bone density and so much more, it's at the point where I can't stand from a sitting position at a particular level without physical help or I can only make 5 steps before my legs fall from under me in the stairs, but losing predictability is one of the worst. We predict we will wake tomorrow, we predict we'll see our friends, family and loved ones again, but imagine if you were given a death sentence without a date, so every day, you know you could die, you know every day could be your last, you'd probably spend a lot of your time thinking when, where, how? Will I just have a massive bleed and die? Will my bladder stop and that's it, stop eating, start sleeping constantly or like now, my lungs have started aspiration, I got the results from my chest X-Ray which confirmed aspirated pneumonia, now that's the type of shit that takes a weak one like me out. My Docs are again not giving dates, as I have always defied them, but "you could be around in 4 weeks or two" have been bandied around from a few different specialists, nurses and doc's. when someone says you could be here in 4 weeks like it's Gods greatest gift to man, it doesn't fill you with much confidence. I get it, I've already squeezed 3 years out of a couple of days, but to me it's like if you buy a loaf of bread with a use by date of 6 days from now and it remains fresh for 9 days, woopty fucking doo, break out the party poppers and streamers, let's celebrate!!!! I know, I'm being cynical and childish and selfish and any other word you can think of that means bratty, but 4 weeks is a fleeting holiday on the QLD coast, not much of a remaining life.
I love that we as a "world" reach out and show our support for cancer, in many different ways. There are so many different cancers and that's why it makes it so difficult to cure it, people often think one cure fits all, but that's like saying one pair of Christian Louboutin fits all and as much as we try to squeeze our normal size 36 into one, you really need half a size up, any girl worth her weight in shoes knows red bottoms usually run a bit small, just like may favouritist shoe, every cancer has a different genetic make up or hormonal make up etc. no one cancer is exactly the same and that's why the "elusive" cure has not been found yet......does that make any sense at all?
I was asked via fb messenger to describe cancer and just a caution, this does involve language, albeit with asterisk, but BAD language for some, Cancer is like a dirty, stinky, unwashed c**t on a 40 degree day, nobody wants to hang around, seriously can't you tell no-one likes you, bigger off already!
They say everything happens for a reason and God only gives "his" greatest battles to those who have the strength to fight them, but I'd really like to know what the pre-requisites are for this selection process, as I can't for the life or in my case impending early death figure out why I'd be selected as any stronger than som cross fit fanatic that dreams of protein shakes and shuts green on the daily because she lives on wheat grass and edamame, wouldn't they be stronger. I've asked this question before and the response from people........pretty much the same 9/10 times, just because someone has a strong body, doesn't mean they have a strong mind or the emotional gumption to persist Day in day out, with this unimaginable disease.
Please, Cancer needs you, people like me need you and the last thing we want to ask for is charity, but sometimes you gotta put your fedora where your mouth goes and shake it for a good cause.
I know a lovely rockstar Margaret Hurd has started a GoFundMe for my family and I to raise money for a nurse at home on occasion and a stair seat lift, as I'm carried upstairs now, but this isn't about me and my small picture, this is about the big picture of cancer on the whole world scale, so here's a few worthy charities, Dreams2live4 are definitely an amazingly kind and thoughtful charity, with real patient/charity connection, so if you are thinking of donating, definitely consider them, it's a small charity with a humongous heart, Rare Cancers are also amazing and the Cancer Council, we all know the great work they do, but sometimes I think the little fella needs a bit of help first.
Please do not feel obligated to donate, I just wanted to throw them in.
It seems very foreign to be saying "HAPPY WORLD CANCER DAY!", so I won't, I'll simply say "HERE'S TO LEARNING MORE ABOUT CANCER DAY AND RAISING FUNDS TO TRY AND FIX IT!!!!!"
This probably makes no sense, as I'm on no sleep and on my usual meds, but hopefully you get a bit from it.
Love you all more than gluten, Stay Fabulous Rockstars ❤🤘🏼👸🏻
Ps. @beachesofftedder best cafe on the Gold Coast hands down, beautiful people, remembered us from a year ago and food is spectacular ❤❤❤