So as you know we just had our two year anniversary family weekend, this was our third mini break on the coast since being told in 2014 I would be lucky to make it to Christmas that year and here we are a couple of weeks off celebrating my third bonus Christmas.
I was really looking forward to our little family mini break, I was especially excited to see my brother's reaction to staying at the hotel we were staying at. I bought six bottles of champagne that were on sale and I thought I was going to have the hangover of all hangovers, but what I had imagined and the reality of the weekend were two completely different things.
From Ava being obsessed with the bidet in the master bathroom and me catching her sneaking a sip of water directly from it and washing her hands in it to the air conditioning not working all weekend and all of us sweating like a whore in church, it was a very different weekend to what it would have been BC (Before Cancer) , BC I would have been singing and dancing on a table before Beyoncé even got to the second verse of Single Ladies and 3 bottles of champagne down before she got to the 3rd verse, but things are different now. Sometimes I wonder is it actually a Cancer thing that has caused this rapid decline in party animal or is it an age thing? It's a really confusing age 34, ten years ago at 34 you were more likely to be married, popping your third kid out and mortgaged to the hilt, but now I see so many of my female friends on Facebook, single and partying it up. Are they actually enjoying themselves or is it just a facade they put on for Facebook? God, I could think of nothing worse than dancing at some nightclub until the ugly lights come on and then moving onto the Sunday sessions after a few hours sleep, give me a Christmas movie and a take away any day.
I still wouldn't change our low-key weekend for the world. Alcohol does not make the weekend, it's the people who do, we made memories that will last a life time and that's what matters, the love and the laughter we shared this weekend will remain in the corners of our hearts and minds forever. You don't have to go to some fancy hotel to make lasting memories either, the hotel is just a little added bonus.
I was in bed by 9.30pm every night, didn't open one bottle of the 6 champagnes I bought, I probably only drank 5 glasses of champagne over the four days and my pain and tiredness was overwhelming, but just knowing that all of your family are in the same place is a really comforting thought.
Ava loved the whole three days, I thought she'd get there, run around excited for a minute and then start to complain about being bored, but she LOVED her "holiday house", she eagerly ran around the hotel room showing her Grando and Nanna the pool, the big bath and the TV that was hidden in the Wooden cabinet. It was like Christmas for her and anytime we left the room, she'd ask to go back to our holiday house. I thought we'd have the hardest time getting her to go home, but she said good-bye to the pool, literally and asked can we come back to our holiday house again? Of course we can sweetie......of course we can......another one of those promises I've made to her that I really can't promise to keep.
Anyone out there who has like myself been gifted the worst Christmas present ever, I'm talking worse than the ugliest Christmas sweater ever made, the gift of Terminal Cancer, I highly recommend making the effort and spending some special time with your immediate family, they will appreciate those memories more than any other gift you could possibly give.
So here we are back home, back to reality, I was hoping I accidentally had left my lethargy and nausea in the hotel room along with my phone charger, but it unfortunately seems to have followed me home, sneaky little bastard, it's as hard to shake as a black van full of martial arts experts following you in a Jacki Chan movie.
It's so clichè, but life is exactly what you make of it, I could have easily cancelled our weekend away and believe me the thought had crossed my mind more than once, but I figured a bed is a bed and if I have to spend the weekend in one, it may as well be in the hotel and that way I was not letting my family down by cancelling, Ava would have been heart-broken and I couldn't be the cause of that, the sadness on that little girls face would have killed me. So I put my big girl pants on and made myself go and although I'm as tired as The Geordie Shores fake tan application assistant I would do it all again tomorrow, just to see my nieces face at the sight of the pool, my brother and Dad's excitement at the free sparkling wine in the foyer (they don't even drink the stuff, but free alcohol is free alcohol and they certainly made the most of it), my Mum actually taking a minute to herself relaxing by the pool and my Sister in Law not answering phone calls from work every hour. It's amazing that a hotel an hours drive away can feel like a whole other world, it gave us all a break from cancer for a few days, it's as if it didn't exist and that's a wonderful gift you can give a family that faces the thought of death every day, a break from reality.
With every Christmas that goes by, I wonder how and when will I die? This year has been full of ups and downs, Emergency Department visits, ICU admissions, palliative ward admissions, lots of pain and extreme tiredness, pain relief, radiation, immunotherapy trials, nausea, regurgitation, I've spent lots of time with those I love, friends and family from near and far, was in a friend's reality show, started my blog, made lots of new friends in you fabulous rockstars, visited Broome with my parents, swanned through the birdcage like an actual swan and although the year has been harder than easier, I go to bed every night thanking God that I'm still alive and when I wake in the morning I thank him again for keeping me going through the night, I honestly feel so lucky when I open my eyes that I get this feeling of excitement akin to a kid on Christmas morning, my heart literally skips a beat.
Another family trip notch on our belt and here's to us celebrating the same anniversary next year.
Stay Fabulous Rockstars ❤️🤘🏼🎄
My name is Lisa Magill and I have been navigating the minefield that is cancer since just months after turning 30, people have been saying to me for years that I should put my thoughts into writing and as time has progressed I thought I had left it too late, well here we are nearly 4 years in and for some unknown reason I've decided to start to write today.