So this week I was totally blindsided and dumped by my doctor, I know right, who gets dumped by their doctor? I totally get it if they move practices or quit or retire, but if you move around the corner from your old house and your doctor tells you they can no longer do house visits and give you the care you need or deserve all because you've moved 4 streets across from your old house, well no I don't get it.
What I do get though is that I believe my poor doctor had accepted my case a year ago initially because she was informed that I was terminal and I was always probably a little out of her home visit area, but because she thought I was on my way out, she didn't think she'd still be schlepping her doctors bag that far west for so bloody long! I believe she was just too nice to tell me that I've lasted way longer than she thought I would, so she said that moving to our new house made it that bit more difficult, seriously, we moved 2 minutes around the corner!
I get it, you have a gorgeous family that you have to get home to in the evenings, you don't need to be stopping in to visit me to take my blood pressure, that's eating into your precious time with your kids and family, I totally get it, but you gave me your mobile number, you were always contactable, you were so caring, your service was above reproach and I truly believed we were more than the doctor/patient relationship, I thought we were more like friends.
I feel like I'm going through a divorce and the fact that my current doctor has already recommended a new more local doctor and referred me onto them, like I've signed up to a doctor/patient matching website "Have you recently been dumped by your doctor? Do you feel like your old doctor didn't understand you? Never fear, we here at eharmony doctors will find you the perfect match", this is probably sounding ludicrous to you as you read it, but for those of you who have a chronic illness or health issues that require regular visits to doctors or specialists, you'll get it.
This is not the first time I've confused my doctor/patient relationship for more than that, you see, you spend so much time with these people that sometimes the lines can become a bit blurred, just because your specialist calls you at 10pm with results, ends your text messages with emoji's and hugs you (OK, maybe the hugs more me than them, but they don't have to hug back!) at the end of appointments, does not mean that they think you are or ever will be friends.
I've had a specialist actually say to me once when my cancer had returned, we knew it was terminal and we thought I'd be lucky to have weeks, that this is why he doesn't become close to patients, because it's too difficult when things like this happen and he can't handle it.
I think I've probably secretly fallen in love with most of my medical team at some point in my treatment, Prof Tattersall, don't worry, I'm not talking about you 😜. When you're in hospital for a month at a time and you wake up every morning to your specialist or registrar, who is really lovely, caring, attentive, funny and you know that if you went into cardiac arrest at any moment they could sort that shit out pronto, it's attractive, you can become attracted. I've had more than one or two dreams of one or more of my specialists, registrars, ED doctors, over the years, in fact, one, I still believe if he was single, he would have asked me to marry him years ago.
What is it about doctors? Is it because we tend to have this God complex thing going on about them, you know like we have about Firemen, Soldiers, Policemen, men in uniforms or positions of power, as soon as we see a man with a helmet, our loins start to ache and who cares what they look like! It's the same for men and their attraction to women in a nightclub, if women are in a group, they automatically become attractive, but begin to remove a woman, one by one and you soon realise that in fact that tall blonde that you thought had a great ass and perfect teeth, on her own, in fact only has 4 teeth in her head and thinks a squat is something you do to kill a fly. These apparitions are not uncommon, so imagine if you were seeing this person day in day out, it's no wonder patients fall in love or get confused and think their professional relationship is a friendship, well I'm here to tell you, it's not and if it is, it's probably committing some sort of illegal act, I have no idea what the rules/laws are when it comes to doctor/patient relationships, but I imagine they are not looked upon favourably.
So my fabulous Rockstars, if you're starting to go all gooey eyed at the thought of seeing your specialist at your next appointment or you're paying more attention to what you're wearing and your makeup before your next appointment, just remember they are your doctor, not your boyfriend and not your best friend, they are there to heal you not hug you and at the end of the day if you take your rose coloured glasses off and take a real good look at them, there's a very high chance that they look more like Dr Mark Greene (Anthony Edwards) from ER than Dr Doug Ross (George Clooney) from ER.
Take it from a patient scorned, keep your patient/doctor relationship professional, I promise, you'll thank me in the long run and please remember to take this blog in the way it was intended, tongue in cheek, stay fabulous Rockstars and remember keep your hands off your doctors stethoscopes 😜❤️🤘🏼
My name is Lisa Magill and I have been navigating the minefield that is cancer since just months after turning 30, people have been saying to me for years that I should put my thoughts into writing and as time has progressed I thought I had left it too late, well here we are nearly 4 years in and for some unknown reason I've decided to start to write today.