You gave me moments in time that I shall not forget, memories that are engraved in my mind and the minds of my family and friends for eternity, the gifts of joy and love that you have given are plentiful and infinite and for that reason I am grateful for the life I have had. Sure it might not be the easiest of lives ever lived, we've certainly had our ups and downs, but I hope when my time comes that my loved ones will remember the good times you gave us, rather than the bad times.
Life, you are a fickle friend, one day we are besties and the next we are mortal enemies, I never know what to expect from you. Will today be a pain free, fight free, fun filled day or will it be a pain filled, bed ridden, emotional roller coaster of a day? Life why can't you just be predictable? I know there are people out there who would say a predictable life is a boring life, a life unfulfilled, but for me and for many others out there suffering like myself, one thing we would love in life would be predictability.
Just imagine going to bed and setting an alarm Monday to Friday for the same time, then getting up in the morning, getting ready, eating breaky, hopping in the car, sit in horrendous traffic whilst listening to your favourite music, bitching and moaning about traffic in between singing the chorus like you're a real life fucking rockstar and not giving a shit that the person in the car next to you is looking at you as if you're Bert Newton without his wig on (if you're Aussie, you know that look), getting to work 10 minutes late, sitting at your desk typing monotonously, constantly glancing at your phone counting down the hours until home time, that time comes and you get back in your car and sit in the same traffic in the opposite direction, get home, make dinner, watch the news and have a glass of wine, go to bed and do it all again. Oh how sweet predictability would taste.
For those of you who hate predictability I totally get it, there's even a saying dedicated to it, familiarity breeds contempt, but if you lived our life of unpredictability, then you'd probably beg for your predictable life back.
Life, the days you give me extreme pain, the days that my body become so contorted and cramped that my carer has to massage my limbs back into normality, why do you like to gift me these days on days that I'm meant to be going out with a friend or when I'm on holiday and you think it's fun to give me a tumour bleed, so I spend more time in the hospital than I do in the hotel? Oh you are a fickle friend.
Life, how do you choose who is to live and who is to die? What pre-requisites must one have to escape the prematurely dying group? Why do some live to 90, whilst others live to 9? Where is the fairness in that? Do you do these things so that we "learn" from them? Are these things meant to make us better, stronger people? Quite frankly I'd rather be a weaker person and not experience these things in life that are meant to make us stronger. Life, are you and God friends? Is there a connection between what happens to us in life and what God wants for us to happen in life? Whose the boss God or you life?
Like good old Forrest Gump said "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get", well sorry Forrest, any box of chocolates you buy have a fucking list of exactly what each chocolate contains, why can't life have a list of exactly what it's going to contain, so we know what to expect.
Life, you've had me dying for years, why couldn't you just tell me an exact date, so I can stop living you in limbo, not knowing day from day if it will be my last.
Life, you are the greatest gift of all, but Jesus Christ, there are some days you feel more like a pair of socks at Christmas rather than a piece of Jewellery.
Fabulous Rockstars, I hope that your Life is the gift you asked Santa for and not a pair of socks.
Stay fabulous rockstars ❤️🤘🏼
Photo one, courtesy of Ava Magill photography 👧🏻
My name is Lisa Magill and I have been navigating the minefield that is cancer since just months after turning 30, people have been saying to me for years that I should put my thoughts into writing and as time has progressed I thought I had left it too late, well here we are nearly 4 years in and for some unknown reason I've decided to start to write today.